Giving Thanks for Grandparents

Thanksgiving is over and we survived! It was an amazing day, full of rich blessings. Reid had a great day! Little booger didn't take a nap all day other than a little ten minute nap here or there. VERY different than the 2-3 hour naps he takes 2-3 times a day! I was nervous he would be grumpy and fussy, but he amazed us all as he always does. He was happy and charming and sweet and ate up all the attention. We even got to go outside and play for a while. (Weird Tennessee Thanksgiving weather....)

I felt especially blessed to have both of my grandparents there with us this year. I always feel blessed to have them there, but this year was extra special. We just found out that Grammy has cancer and will be starting chemo treatments on Tuesday. This is the third time she's had to fight this battle and it was a blessing to be able to reflect on how truly miraculous it was that she was there, cooking as she always has since the first time she got cancer 25 years ago. My Grandad was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday for some testing in his heart. He had triple bypass surgery 13 or 14 years ago. He is 82 years old, over six feet tall, has had cancer and still walks laps at the sportscom every day where is talks about Jesus to anyone who will listen. We were afraid he wouldn't be discharged in time to be home for Thanksgiving, but God goes above and beyond for us and he was able to come home late Wednesday afternoon and sit at the head of the table at Thanksgiving, right where he belongs. He will have to have a pacemaker put in to help regulate his heart, so we are praying God's protection over him as it has always been.

God's work in and through the lives of my grandparents has been something I've been proud to witness. They have been wonderful leaders and examples for their family as well as others. My prayer is just that no matter what, they are ALWAYS at peace. I know God will be with them.

I am so thankful to have had such involved, amazing, giving, generous, Godly, loving grandparents. Thank you, God, for your faithfulness to them.

Thanksgiving

I am freaking out that Thanksgiving is THIS week! This is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love the anticipation of the holidays, the preparation, the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping...I even love the smell of the air this time of year. It's the time of year that makes you want to call everyone you love and tell them why you love them and invite them over for coffee. :) It's the best time of year to grab a good book, turn on some holiday music and relax on the couch under your Snuggie (yes, snuggie). And THIS year, it's the best time of year to cuddle your baby and sit under the Christmas tree and steal kisses and sing songs! I feel so blessed this year that I get to spend the holidays making memories with Jesse and Reid. I am so thankful that God's protection has been over my sweet son and that he is so happy, healthy and wonderful and will be sitting at the table with us this Thanksgiving. Thank you, Jesus.

My Grandmother - Grammy

Josephine Rose Schloot is my grandmother. (My mom's mom). We are very close. She and my grandfather have been a huge part of my life in every aspect. We lived with them for a few months before we moved to Tennessee. Before they moved down here from Michigan they came to visit a lot. Sometimes just for my birthday. Paul and I were very spoiled because we were the only grandkids up until I was 22 and Zane was born. My grandparents came to all my shows, came to see me cheer, were at my graduations...they've been there for everything. What a blessing. When I was at Lipscomb my grandmother sent me cards all the time with encouraging words and a little cash here and there. She always gave me money to help while I was in school. When I was in high school I would go over to their house all the time and take naps and visit and talk. When I was little my grandmother read me Beatrix Potter books. (little books for little hands). I always call her with all my life news. She has always been there for me. I am so thankful for her. When I was only about three years old we found out she had ovarian cancer. VERY advanced and she wasn't expected to make it. But the Lord is bigger than cancer and she was described by her doctors as a "walking miracle." I don't remember much about that time except trying on her wig. :) Then a few years ago we found out she had colon cancer. God brought her through that as well. I remember her saying that she was just worried that if she died that Zane wouldn't remember her. God has allowed her precious time with Zane. She still keeps him in the afternoons.

Today we found out she has cancer again. They found it on her liver and possibly on her lungs. It just doesn't seem possible that we are here AGAIN. I am praying so hard and yet I don't really know what to pray for. All I can think about right now is that sometimes I wish I was still little and could go spend the night at her house and have her read to me. What is it that makes a grandmothers house so cozy and her voice so comforting? I want so badly for Reid to know his great-grandmother and experience that cozy house and hear her read him a story. So....I don't want to pray selfishly. I just pray that God will envelope her and that no matter what happens, it's all peaceful for her. That she is at peace with whatever happens. And hopefully we can all be at peace with it too. I know God is capable of more than we can ask or imagine and He has had her story written for a long time. I find all my comfort in knowing that God is never surprised by the events in our lives. He is the author of our stories. Lord, bless my grandmother from head to toe. Wrap your arms around her and give her rest and peace. Ease her mind and spirit.

If you read this, please pray for my Grammy.

Reid and his Great-Grammy. The first time they met.

On Being a Working Mommy

Being a working mommy is tough stuff! Thankfully, I am blessed with a job that I love and people I love to work with. I am also blessed with a job that has ideal hours for being a mom. It's never easy to say goodbye to that sweet face in the mornings and send him off to play with someone else for the day, but every afternoon and evening is SO precious to us as we "catch up" with each other about our day. I know we will never take each other for granted. I'm sure there will be horrible moments where I have to hear, "I don't want you to leave, Mommy!" but I know that God will get us through that and then when I get to work one of my working mommy friends will talk me down off the ledge :). One thing about being a working mom is that you never take one moment with your baby for granted. There is not one diaper I don't appreciate getting to change and not one bottle that I'm not thankful to be able to give. Every smile is as great as the first smile and rocking him to sleep is a privilege I cherish. I know stay-at-home mommies feel that way, too of course. But for me, it's not something I get to do all day every day so every moment with Reid is exciting. Of course, I'd rather be at home with him and I believe that one day God will call me to that. But for now we are trucking along as two working parents with a new baby and God is drawing us so close to each other and to him through this experience.

Being a parent with Jesse has been the most fun! We are such a team. A "well oiled machine" we like to say! We've pretty much got the hang of everything now, though you might hear a "HOLY CRAP!" over a diaper every now and then. Those moments keep us laughing at and with each other. I'll never forget the Saturday morning that Jes was so proud of himself for getting up with Reid and giving him his bottle and letting me sleep. He was even going to surprise me and have Reid all dressed when I got up. Then I hear this pitiful, "Baaaabe? Can you come here?" Haha! I will always be able to see Jesse's face in my mind when I walked in that room and saw poop EVERYWHERE! He was just standing there frozen and said, "What do I do? His butt exploded!" Love that man. He is such a good daddy and is so involved and hands-on. Just last night I was taking a bath in Reid's bathroom relaxing and reading while Jes gave the bedtime bottle. I could hear Jesse reading to Reid and Reid "cooing" back. It melted my heart. It's hard to imagine feeling more love than I did right then!!!

All that to say, being a working mommy is hard, but manageable and God is blessing us so much and teaching us so much through it all. So far I haven't missed any of Reid's big moments and I really believe God will honor me and my choices and make sure I get to see ALL Reid's firsts. Even if I'm not with him all day. God bless ALL my working mommy friends. I think he has a special place in his heart for us!!! :) I'm so glad I have had you to lean on and help me transition! XOXO

Month #4

We are having so much fun being parents. Every day truly gets better and better. It's amazing how much Reid is changing. OVERNIGHT! He'll wake up doing something that he wasn't doing the night before! It's a mixed bag of emotions for me as he gets bigger. I am filled with joy watching him grow and develop and learn and discover. It's unbelievable. But it's going by WAY too fast. Sometimes I still look at him and can't believe I HAD A BABY...let alone that that baby is learning to grab things and laugh out loud!

Being back at work has been an adjustment, but God really laid this out for us so perfectly that it all runs very smoothly. We usually have to go wake Reid up in the mornings (which is the only thing I don't like). We get him ready and Jes takes him to Erin's for the day and I pick him up. My dad comes to get him on Wednesday mornings...which he loves...and my mom keeps him on Wednesdays. Jesse keeps him on Fridays. It's all been going so well. He loves being with Erin. She is such a blessing to us. I'm sure he thinks Piper and Sophie are his big sisters. More like little mommies, actually. They are so sweet to him and take such good care of him.

We took Reid camping for the first time and he LOVED it! We had a blast going on walks and looking at trees and people. Jes and I rode bikes and played cornhole. He got to go fishing! He's been wanting to do that for a while. Today we went and got Reid a new exersaucer. We bought it on craigslist. He had so much fun playing in it. We have to wrap a blanket around his waist because he's still a little too small for it, but he does great.

This weekend is Halloween and Reid is a lion! I was afraid he'd hate putting it on, but he had a ball and even giggle at himself in the mirror! We're going to take him "trick-or-treating" to his grandparents and great-grandparents house tomorrow afternoon :).

Reid is smiling all the time. He's so happy. He's even starting to chuckle a little. He is reaching out for things now, but still with closed fists. Just this week he's started to open his hands some. He's holding his head up pretty much 100% now. He loves to sing songs and sit up and look around. He really tries to push up and stand when you hold him. He "talks" all the time, but in the mornings especially. He wakes up ALL SMILES and loves to have conversations first thing when he wakes up. He loves to look at his tree and monkey on the wall while he's getting his diaper changed and he rarely cries while being changed. When he had his diaper rash we used a hair dryer to make sure his little bootie was good and dry. He liked this so much that we still use the hair dryer daily. We use it after his bath. He gets dried head to to with it. He smiles and coos the whole time! Speaking of his bath...still doing great. Still cries sometimes at the end when we wash his hair, but not very often. Still sleeping through the night *ahhhh*.

Blessed is the best word to describe our lives. We have survived this time of me being "unpaid" from maternity leave. God has come through boldly and strengthened our faith through HIS faithfulness. We've always had exactly what we needed when we needed it. We are priveleged to serve such an awesome God. Gearing up for the holidays and looking forward to celebrating with Reid this year. A whole new experience!

SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!

I couldn't be prouder to post that Reid Bennett Hanks is sleeping 9-10 hours a night!!! My prayer has been that he would be doing this by the time I went back to work and the Lord heard our prayers!!! This will make the transition from full time mommy to full time WORKING mommy so much easier! It wasn't easy being so anal about Reid's schedule and I'm sure when I told people that we "have to go home now because Reid needs to lay down in the next 30 minutes" they thought I was crazy. I have truly been a stickler on this, but it has paid off!! He gets his bath between 7:45 and 8:00 and then takes a bottle and lays down (awake) at about 8:30. He goes to sleep on his own and doesn't wake up until between 6-7:00!!! Praise the Lord.

We have been doing Baby Wise since Reid got home from the hospital. He eats every three hours, plays, then takes a nap. And we stuck to it. It was hard especially as a newborn because he just wanted to sleep all the time, but we did our best. Then slowly those awake times started getting longer and naps a little shorter, but we stuck to the eat, play, sleep schedule as much as possible. Eventually Reid started only waking up one time a night which was HUGE! We were so excited to drop a night time feeding, but we felt that he really was ready to be sleeping all night.

I then read "Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child" which said to start your child on an early bedtime schedule. We had been putting Reid to bed around 9 or 10 in hopes that he would only wake up once or not at all in the night. This suggests that the earlier you put them to bed the longer they'll sleep. Soooooo, I decided to try it. Reid did great! He was still waking up once, but was getting WAY more quality sleep and going longer and longer every night.

Then it happened...one Saturday night I was home alone with Reid because Jes was out of town and he went to bed at 8:30 and woke up at 4:00am! I got up and changed his diaper and decided to just try putting him back in bed. He went right back to sleep until 6:15!! He did that for a few days where he would wake up with a poo poo diaper in the middle of the night and we would change him and he'd go back to sleep. Now, he sleeps straight through the night and doesn't wake up ONCE!!!

A huge helper in this has been those crazy swaddling blankets. The ones where the baby looks like a loon in a straight jacket! A friend gave me some and we've been using that in conjunction with all this and it is a miracle worker! Reid cannot get of it no matter what and therefore can't wake himself up with those hands that are ALWAYS moving!!

So, I am writing this as a rested mommy. It feels so good to get a full nights rest and wake up to a super happy, rested baby boy! Jesse is loving it too as he was the one who got up for the middle of the night feeds. :) Thank you, Lord for rewarding our diligence! I'm already excited about the good nights sleep I'll be getting tonight! Ha!!!

Month #3

It's hard to believe that Reid Bennett is three months old! Although I have loved every stage of his life thus far, month three has been my favorite. He is slowly developing his little personality. He smiles all the time and "talks" all the time. Just this morning I was laying in bed and could hear him in his room just "oohhing and ahhing" at his mobile (probably). I wanted to go in there, but didn't want to disturb his conversation! He is really holding his head up and loves to look around at everything. You can just look at him and tell he's taking in something new. His eyes get so big and he just stares and even smiles when he's seeing something he likes. He definitely knows who is who. He recognizes my parents now and of course me and Jes.

He plays independently now which has been super handy for me when I need to shower and get ready to go out. He loves his playmat and the songs it plays. He laughs at coos at the toys that hang down. His swing is still his favorite, but he's becoming more open to other things now. It won't be long and he'll be sitting up! I don't want to rush it, but I can't WAIT for him to sit up!

He has his first diaper rash and I am devistated for him. It looks horrible, though doesn't seem to really bother him. I am doing everything everyone has suggested to do and praying it goes away this week.

With month three brings the day I have been dreading. I go back to work this Friday. I can't believe the day is here. Where has the time gone? I am so blessed that he doesn't have to go to daycare and that he can be at a home with no other kids besides the ones that live there. My mom will keep him on Wednesdays and Jes will do Fridays when he's in town. It's the best possible situation and I am so thankful for that. But my heart hurts and I'm praying that Friday morning when I drop him off that God will just cover me in peace. I'm going to need his favor and grace. I know it'll be ok. God has laid this out for us so perfectly.

I never imagined I'd have this much time with him. Even if he'd been "on time" I would have only had 6 weeks. Three months has been a huge blessing and gift from God. I will always be grateful for this time. It has been filled with the most precious moments.

Jes and I celebrated two years of marriage this week. We went to Altanta for a quick trip (with Reid) and then last night we just went out for dinner. We sat and reflected on our 2nd year of being married and told each other what our favorite part was...amazing that we both said the same thing. We both agreed that the month that Reid was in the hospital was the best part of our 2nd year of marriage. Of course, because he was born, but not just that. We will forever cherish what God did in our marriage and lives in general. We grew closer to each other and to Him. We learned the value of teamwork and of truly trusting God when things were out of our hands. That month was the scariest, hardest time of both our lives and yet God, who's plan is perfect, took that and made it into a time we look back on with thankfulness and love. All the glory goes to Him. Jesse Hanks, you are a gift and a blessing. I cannot wait to be married to you on year #20 and #50!!!! I know God will still be doing amazing things in our lives.

Just To See You Smile....

...we'd do ANYTHING! Literally, anything. Our sweet Reid Bennett started smiling on September 10! He looked at me and smiled, but I wasn't sure if it was a "real" social smile or just gas :). But then, the next morning he was all smiles. My parents were at our house early because we were going to the Farmer's Market in Nashville and he was smiling at everyone. It was amazing! It still makes me tear up any time he does it. I say we'd do anything because we all but stand on our heads to try to get a smile out of him now and when he does, it is well worth the embarrassment!

SO many changes lately. Reid is REALLY holding his head up now. His favorite position to be held in is up on your should because he can hold that head up and look around. Its amazing to how much they change from one day to the next. I know I say that a lot, but its true. One day he can just hold his head for a second. The next day he's got it held up looking all around. So miraculous.

Other changes: He doesn't cry when he's getting his diaper changed anymore (well, sometimes, but rarely.) He also doesn't cry in the bathtub. In fact, he LIKES his bath now! If he's crying and you set him in there and start pouring water over him...ahhhh! He just starts looking around and relaxing. We love giving him his baths now. The witching hour is still here, but its getting better and not lasting as long now. Maybe we are just getting better at handling it? Probably.

We've been getting out with him a lot more which he likes! The kid adores being strolled. So we've been getting him out at least once a day in the stroller and in the fresh air. It seems to help him sleep better, too!

Our boy is growing like crazy and its wonderful and sad all at once. I already miss my sweet tiny buddy. Now he's just a sweet semi-tiny buddy. It's crazy to think that someday he'll tower over me! Blessings are abundant in the Hanks' Household. God is so good to us. We are so undeserving of his grace, but he showers it on us day by day, hour by hour. This lyric has been in my head all week and I hope to live it in my life....

"And when I'm doing well help me to NEVER seek a crown, for my reward is bringing glory to you."

Family Fun Day!

Today was the first day the three of us have really gotten out of the house together for an outing that wasn't church, grandparents house or the grocery store! We decided to take advantage of the PERFECT Tennessee weather today and go to the farmers market, dog park and the Greenway! Reid did great! I think he really loved being outside in the fresh air! Dylan had a blast of course and wore himself out. Then we came home, took naps and went to Target to stock the pantry. Today, I've really been reflecting on how blessed we are. I mean, I think about it every day, but just standing back and watching my little family...there are no words. Life is good. Every day is new and different and its so fun to watch Reid change and discover and grow. Love him.

Hello September

I can't believe it's already September! Where is the time going? We have been super busy here at the Hanks household. Reid has been having some tummy issues...which led to a doctors visit, which led to tests at Vanderbilt (*freak out*), which led to an ER visit, which led to acid reflux. Whew! We finally got it figured out and now R is on a new formula and is on some medicine for his reflux. All seems to be going well. I am so relieved that he seems to be feeling better. Talk about feeling helpless! :(

Apparently the "witching hour" has crept its way into our house. Like clockwork every night from 7-9ish Reid is fussy. He's not inconsolable, but we don't dare try to put him down. He's fine as long as one of us is cuddling him. It's hilarious. Then as soon as he has his 9:00 bottle, he's back in his bed passed out. It's so odd! But it could be worse. At least it's not in the middle of the night.

Reid is doing much better with his nights. He usually eats around 7, then we do a dream feed around 9 and he sleeps until 2am. Then Jes usually gets up to feed him and he sleeps until 5 or 6. Not too bad! There's light at the end of the tunnel!

He's really working on holding his head up. He loves to sit on his boppy and look around and get on his tummy on his boppy and try to move his head around. When I put him up on my shoulder he really holds his head up and it's like the cutest thing I've ever seen! Oh, how that child has us wrapped already! He's 10 weeks old this week, adjusted age 2 weeks. Still waiting on the first smile. It's all I want out of life right now :).

Sleep is overrated!!

Well, Reid is back to eating every three hours, which I like. BUT - I DO miss the nights when he was eating every four. :) I love my sleep, but I love Reid more so it's OK. He's totally worth the "drag yourself out of bed, stumble to the fridge for the bottle, diaper change in the dark, put the diaper on backwards, feed baby bottle with eyes closed" 3am feeding. I love him!

Yesterday was his due date! It's so hard to imagine that I would have had to wait that long to meet him! He'll be eight weeks old on Thursday! For some reason, hitting that due date was a huge relief to me. I think back to sitting in the NICU with him and hearing that he might not go home until his due date and thinking how far off that sounded and praying so hard that God would work miracles in his little body...that already seems like so long ago. The due date was always the day in my mind that we HAD to reach and even though we were home for 3 weeks when we reached it...it was still a huge accomplishment in my mind.

He has changed so much this past week since being a "full term" baby. He's holding his head up and moving it around a ton. I was burping him today up on my shoulder and instead of laying his head on my shoulder like he usually does he held it up and looked over at me and looked around. It was so cute!!! He's also making more baby noises. He is a LOUD eater! It's hilarious. He'll coo when I'm talking to him now. Not a lot, but sometimes. He is REALLY focusing on us now. He just stares me down. It melts my heart that he recognizes my voice when I walk into the room and looks for me. He sleeps like me according to Jesse. No matter how swaddled we have him at night, he is all sprawled out, arms above his head, legs everywhere when we go to get him for his bottle. He HATESSSSSS having his diaper changed. You'd think we were cutting his leg off by the way he cries. The second he hears the Velcro undo on the diaper he screams inconsolably. Then as soon as the new diaper is fastened...he stops. He looks around and is wide-eyed. We can't help but laugh at how dramatic he is. Bless him.


He loves music, especially worship music. He is a total church baby. He sleeps right through the loud music at church and his mommy holding him and jumping around during worship. Guess he got used to the loud music and me jumping around while he was still in my belly because he passes right out. Ha! Love that he loves it. I think he's going to be a lover of worship. At least that's our prayer for him since it's such a big part of our lives.

We are thankful to be under God's protection and favor. He showers us with blessings on a daily basis. Jes and I are in awe of all he's done for us. God of Wonders.....

Angry face... :)


Look at me lifting my head!!


Happy Baby!


So serious!


Getting love from his Grandmothers! SO spoiled!


Baby Dedication, August 8, 2010

Photography

I meant to include this in my post from the other day...

The picture at the top of my blog is by Kacey Randolph. This picture is the sneak peak she sent me of our newborn session. I am so excited to see the rest! Kacey makes you feel comfortable, confident and (as you can see from that precious pic of Reid) she brings out the best in those she is shooting! She also did our maternity photos...pictures that now mean so much to us.

Visit her website for more information about how to get this amazing photographer to capture your precious moments!

www.kaceyrandolph.com

Changes!

It always amazes me how quickly things change with Reid. Literally from one nap to the next he wakes up a new baby. It's incredible. This week all of a sudden between two feeds he went from eating 3oz to 4oz and going from 3 hours to 4 hours in between. I have to say that this has been a change that made momma happy! It's amazing what that extra hour does for us. That means only one middle of the night feed...more time to get things done during the day. I was able to clean my house today, do laundry, dishes, etc all from 6:30-10:30! The best thing has to be the extra sleep though...hands down!! And the even better part is that I feed him at 10:30 and then Jes gets up with him for the 2:30 and I get to SLEEP until 6:30. Let me do the math for you...that's EIGHT HOURS!! (Give or take 30 minute for getting up to check on him/put paci in mouth/etc.)

The only thing is that the child does NOT burp easily so about halfway between feeds he wakes up screaming and I go in, pick him up, he burps and then passes right back out. Don't know what else to do. Can't just sit and beat on the kid all night. Poor guy. I officially stopped nursing/pumping this week. It was a hard decision, but given the fact that my milk production never recovered after I checked out of the hospital and left without my baby...it was just not working. I was getting MAYBE 2oz per day and stressing like crazy and finally just decided to STOP stressing. I gave it my all for 6 weeks and now I am ready to just enjoy my baby and enjoy feeding him for the next 2 months. Yay me! But it was hard...

Reid is six weeks old TODAY and still 2 weeks away from his original due date. We took him to church for the first time last night! He did so great. Passed out for the whole worship service and then woke up to hear his Pastor preach. Just like he did when he was in my belly. God is so good. It's so humbling to see my baby grow and change and develop and know how far the Lord has brought us. Being the daughter of the King sure has it's perks.... :).

Loving life of Thursday.


Six Weeks Old!

First Trip to Church

Excited!

Well, yesterday I went my my school and told my principal I won't be back until October 1st!!! If I had gone full term with Reid this would have been my plan anyway, but when he came 2 months early we weren't sure what would happen. At one point I wasn't even sure if I would be able to take any time at all. That was a bad day.... But we prayed about it and the Lord opened all the right doors and not only am I getting to take August off, but I'm taking September, too! I am so thrilled! I never thought I'd get to have 3 months with my baby! We had always planned to save save save for when I have a baby so I could take time off and then I got pregnant unexpectedly and then gave birth two months early...things just didn't got according to plan :). So taking this time off is a HUGE step out in faith, but we just know that God has it covered. At my shower on Sunday when Kerri prayed she said, "Thank you God that nothing that's happened has been a surprise to you." And that gave me such peace. God has known what would happen all along and he's had his plan layed out perfectly for us and for Reid. How could we NOT have faith after what we've witnessed in our lives? God is the great provider and he will supply all our needs. We have NO reason to worry. He is faithful.

So, I'm just sitting back and enjoying being a "stay-at-home" mom right now and loving on my sweet baby. On another note, Reid slept for 4 hours at a time twice yesterday! I am so hoping he'll transition to an every 4 hour schedule soon and then skip a feed at night. Oh what I would do for that extra sleep!

We went and did newborn pictures with Kacey Randolph (Kacey Randolph Photography) and Reid was awake the WHOLE time! I couldn't believe it! She already sent me one picture and I cried! It was so precious. Kacey is amazing. Hire her for your pics if you haven't already! Can't wait to see the rest!!

Happy Tuesday!

Settling In...

Well, we've been home for going on 2 weeks now and everything seems to be going smoothly. At least I think it is. We've established a good routine. Reid was waking up every three hours like clockwork and I mean literally if your life depended on you doing something at 4:00, you could just count on Reid instead of setting an alarm.. This week he's been sleeping longer and longer and now he's pushing every four hours. It really just depends. Either way, it works.

It's amazing how much the things that make my days enjoyable have changed. Now days, if I get a good poop and burp out of Reid...day is considered a success! Ha! I never imagined anything could be so hard, exhausting and scary and be so wonderful, worthwhile and rewarding all at the same time. Life is the same and yet completely different. I still feel like me and Jesse and I are still "us" but there's this new fierce feeling that comes over me when I look at Reid. It's this intense mixture of all-consuming love and the need to shelter, protect, nurture and be "everything." The hard part is when I realize I can't be everything and I look and there's laundry to be folded and dishes in the sink. I choose snuggling with my baby every time, but I admit I sometimes feel like I should be able to swing it all.

Having said that, life is grand. Reid is changing so much. Every time the sun comes up I feel like he is a new baby! I am so proud of him. We went to see our pediatrician for the first time on Thursday and he said Reid was doing awesome! He weighed 7lbs 15.5oz!! Almost 8lbs? My baby? Oh my goodness. J had to work so my mom went with us and we went to eat at Red Robin after. Reid's first lunch out. He slept the whole time. :) That's my boy. He's really starting to focus on things and will stare at the mobile in his crib and follow the little animals. He will really stare you down now and is lifting his little head and loves to wiggle around on the floor. Dylan is obsessed with him and we can't have playtime without him there by Reid's side to supervise. So cute! They will be best buddies before we know it! I put Reid in his swing today while I got dinner ready and he loved it. I wasn't sure because he hasn't been to fond of the little vibrating chair things, but the swing was great. He slept for a long time in it! New visitors this week: Vicki Kennedy, Megan Caldwell, Lona Dunn, Kerri Kairdolf!

Here are a few of my "can't live withouts" so far:

1. Boppy. Genius. Wish I'd invented it myself.
2. Dr. Brown's bottles.
3. Our grass drying rack. It has been a life saver.
4. Carter's onesies. Easiest to snap up.
5. Pampers. No leaks!
6. Little Lamb swing...new fave as of today.
7. Butt Paste. Magical

I love being a mommy and sharing this amazing journey with Jes! He's a great daddy and loves his boy. And I love him more than ever!!

God is good. All the time.

Reid and MiMi at Red Robin.


Playtime with Daddy.


Dylan loves to watch Reid.


With mommy at the doctor!


Snuggling...our favorite!!

Home Sweet Home!

We were finally able to bring Reid home on Tuesday, July 20, 2010! Monday night we "roomed in" the hospital with him in a special suite in the NICU. The night went well! It was scary and exciting to have him with us with no wires, no monitors, no beeping. But it just felt right. All three of us there together. As a family. Like it should be. The next morning the nurse and neonatologist came to get him to do his final assessment before they discharged him. FINALLY at 10:30 we got the word that we could take our sweet boy home! Leaving the NICU was very emotional. The nurses there seem like part of our family now. They were amazing to Reid and to us. They were so patient with us as new parents, always taking time to stop and answer our questions and teach us something new. Blessings on all of the wonderful nurses in the NICU at Centennial Women's Hospital.

My mom and dad came up to the hospital to follow us home. We were a little nervous about the drive...ok I was a little nervous. When we got home, we were greeted with a huge "Welcome Home Reid" sign outside our house. We got in and got started being full time parents. Whew! Its challenging that's for sure. There's a new kind of exhaustion I don't thing either of us were aware of. Reid isn't a huge fan of nights...let me put it that way. He sleeps like a baby (obviously) after his bottles during the day, but at night not so much. Gotta figure out how to get him to sleep at night like he does during the day. But he's wonderful. It's not so bad being up ALL night with someone so perfect. He's already had his first sponge bath at home and met his great-grammy and grandad! That was a very special moment for me. Aunt Katie also came over to visit. It was so fun finally getting to share my baby with some of the most special people in my life!!

So, being home is great. Challenging, but it feels right to have us all under one roof. Thank goodness for my mom who has been here every day and has taken over some feedings so mommy could get some rest to get through the longgggg nights. Cuddle time at 3am is the best :).

Reid is Three Weeks Old Today!

I can't believe that our little monkey has been a part of this world for three weeks. It's amazing and as I look back at pictures of the day he was born and I realize how FAR we've come in three weeks, I am humbled by the truth and the truth is that God was there, he is here NOW and he WILL be here always with our little family.

This week has been full of changes. The nurses kept telling me that the whole eating thing would just "click" with Reid when he was ready. He would take 10ml of his bottle and pass out and I would sit and think we would be there forever. The next day, the kid DOWNED his bottle like nobody's business and has been ever since. It really did just "click!" So then they decided he was doing well enough to do a bottle at every feeding and NOW he nurses for about 20 minutes and then takes his bottle and it's like he's been doing it all his life :). His little cheeks are getting chubby and he's gaining weight like crazy! His umbilical cord fell off so he got to take a tub bath and that was so much fun!

The biggest change this week is that the doctor told me today that we are on the countdown to HOME!!! If Reid can be apnea free for five days in a row he can go home. So today was day one. If he continues doing well we will be able to "room in" with him at the hospital on Monday night and take him home on Tuesday!!! I couldn't help but cry when she told me. It's what we've been praying to hear.

"Rooming In" means that we spend the night in the hospital with Reid and get a trial night. How brilliant! We are so thankful that they aren't just sending us home with a "good luck!" This way we can spend the first night we have him on our own with our nurses just down the hall checking in and helping us get used to not having our boy hooked up to monitors. Its going to be scary, but wonderful! I am actually pretty anxious about bringing him home. So excited, don't get me wrong, but a little terrified!! Thank God for wonderful nurses who are so compassionate and gave us their home phone number to call whenever we have a question or worry! I hope God showers blessings on our nurses. They are true angels.

Anyway, things are great. Better than great. Things are miraculous any way you look at it. We are blessed. We are SO blessed.

Update!!

Well, Reid is doing great and tomorrow he will be 3 weeks old! Every morning when I get to the hospital I am so excited to see him and the difference I KNOW will be there from just the night before. He is growing and developing by leaps and bounds and its wonderful to see such BOLD evidence of God's grace and mercies and goodness day by day, hour by hour.

As of today he is going to be getting a bottle at every feeding! These are the orders we've been waiting for! If he can take these bottles at every feeding and remain apnea free for five days he'll be able to come home! He has had a couple apnea spells this week. Just two, but every time he has one they have to start all over with his five days. Soooo...if he goes 4 days and 23 hours and has a spell, we have to start all over. So, if you are reading this, please pray for our little guy! He is already a part of our home, but we are ready to make it official. Obviously, only if he's ready and we believe God will prepare him and us when the time is right!

His umbilical cord finally fell off so he got to have his first tub bath today! I wouldn't say he loved it, but he liked it MUCH better than just being sponged off. He got to have his feeding tube out for the bath so I got to see my baby today for the first time completely wire free. It was amazing. He's so beautiful!

Thank you all for being encouraging and loving on us and Reid. We will be so overjoyed for all our loved ones to get to meet him! The best is yet to come!!!

Whew!!!!

I have been itching to get to the computer and blog about Reid's birth because I am so afraid I'm going to forget something that happened. It's already been 2 weeks since our sweet boy came into the world (2 months early) and it seems like just yesterday...

As you know we travelled to Missouri unexpectedly for the funeral of a dear loved one. The night before we were leaving to come home I started not feeling well. I was having pains that felt like a bladder infection, but without all the other symptoms. I waited it out and felt better the next day. I was GOING to go to the doctor, but it was already Thursday and I had my regularly scheduled doc appointment on Tuesday so I thought I'd just wait it out. I figured that the heat mixed with travelling and the emotion of losing a dear friend had probably just taken it's toll on me. Well, we got home and I wasn't feeling 100% but I had my baby shower on Saturday, Father's Day was on Sunday and by Monday I was POOPED! Monday I felt ok, but was really looking forward to seeing the doc on Tuesday and hearing the heartbeat and getting reassured. On Tuesday when I told the doc I had been cramping, etc. he checked me and decided to send me over for an ultrasound just to be on the safe side. Ultrasound showed no ruptures...everything looked great...Reid was weighing 5 pounds 6 ounces...HOLY SMOKES...and the doctor said to go home, take it easy and everything would be fine. So I went home and felt better having been reassured there would be no baby yet. HOWEVER...I could not sleep AT ALL that night. No comfort was found in any position I layed it. We even moved downstairs to the couches and I ended up leaving Jes in the middle of the night and finally falling asleep around 3am.

Wednesday morning, I got up to go potty for the millionth time and when I got back in bed I was laying there and a small gush of fluid came out. I thought, "oh my gosh I totally just peed on myself." But then I realized that that was not what it was. I still didn't actually think my water had broken, but I went in to the bathroom where Jes was in the shower and jokingly said "Hey babe, either I just peed on myself or my water just broke." We kinda laughed and I went and got back into bed and he left for work. That's when the pain began. I called Kerri, God bless her, and she said to call the doctor asap. I did and he said to come in. My mom, who was already on her way over to my house, got there just in time. I remember starting to walk down the stairs and having to sit down on the top step because it hurt. I knew right then that this was not good. We got to the doctor and got right in. Doctor Riley checked me again and then left the room. When he came back he said, "OK - your water is broken and we are going ahead and sending you to Centennial. I've already called them, they know you are coming. Doctor DeRoche will be seeing you there." I almost don't remember that part. It's all fuzzy. Everything happened so fast. So, me and my mom GPS Centennial (we have no idea where it is) and haul bootie to the hospital. I called Jesse and Kerri and my mom called everyone else. When we got to the hospital, Jes was practically in the road waving us down, wheel chair waiting. Thank goodness for the wheel chair because at that point I was in (what I thought at the time was) real pain. Ha! So, after almost running me into a window :) Jesse wheeled me up, they checked me in and before I knew it I was in a gown, in a bed, getting an IV in my hand and getting hooked up to lots of monitors.

Turns out I did have a bladder infection, which was what caused my water to break and I was also very dehydrated. Because I was ruptured they did not want to check me to see if I was dilated at all because that risks more infection and infection for the baby. SO - they proceeded to tell me that I was not in "real" labor but that I was probably having bladder contractions that felt like contractions and they were going to stop them and I would just have to stay in the hospital for the next 4 weeks or so. WHAT?!?!?!?! The pains I was having were all below the belly button and not up top where they say "real" labor pains are. Guess I taught them a thing or two. My platelets were also very low which was a concern so they were taking my blood every other minute (or so it seemed to me). They also told me I would not receive any pain medication because once the antibiotic for the infection kicked in, the bladder spasms would stop and I'd feel better. So, after a while I did feel better. I was able to talk myself into thinking it would be cool to live in a hospital! My mom was in management mode getting everything in order and Jesse was off to pack some things for me.

Well, about 9:30 it started. I started having the cramping again and it was back with a vengeance. But they still never checked me and never gave me anything for the pain. My mom went home and my dad came to stay with us for the night. I got a benadryl to help me sleep at about 10. It didn't work. I was up every 20 minutes or so and by about 3am I was up crying. I remember thinking that I might be dying because there's no way something could hurt this bad and not be labor. I told Jesse if this was not labor I could NOT do it when it was the real thing. Order me a C-section. NOW. So, then the pain got so bad that I started throwing up. My nurse, who was wonderful and precious, said she thought I might be having a gall bladder attack and called the doctor. This was at about 4am. He ordered me to get a shot that they said would ease the pain in about 15 minutes. After the shot I threw up about 3 more times and the pain got WORSE. So....finally....the nurse comes in and tells me they are coming to take my blood again and then the charge nurse was going to check me. Just to be sure. I think I might have yelled at the nurse who took my blood...sorry whoever you are. Then...the moment I will never forget. Head nurse layed me back, checked me out and said, "Oh yeah, she's at a 7 or 8. She's ready. Let's get her ready to deliver." Um...what??? I think I said, all at once, "Nooooooooo, nooooo! Can I have an epidural, call my mom. Noooooooooo!" All in between screams that were not quite human.

They wheeled me up to the next floor and when I got in there they said there was no time for an epidural and to start pushing whenever I felt like it. I pushed for about 10 minutes without an epidural and then the doctor came it. Thank goodness he said I had a while and they would try an epidural. Thank you, Jesus! It was kinda scary having that intense, come off the bed pain while having to hold totally still as a needle goes into my spine. However, it did NOT hurt AT ALL! In fact, it was the best part of my day. I felt better instantly. I said some pretty funny things to the doctors apparently. Something about him having pretty blue eyes...haha! My mom got there just in time to MISS all the horrible stuff which I think would have sent her over the edge seeing me like that. I introduced her to my best friend the epidural man with the blue eyes and then started pushing. By the end of the event, Jes was on one side with one leg, my dad (bless him) was on the other side with the other leg and everyone was cheering me on. Once I saw his head in the mirror (sorry for the gory details) I had him out in 2 pushes. Talk about serious motivation.

There are no words to describe the feeling of seeing him for the first time. He came out crying like a champ and the doctor said his color looked so good. There were a million people in the room. A team for me and a team for him. They began working on him immediately so he was taken over to the side before I could hold him or anything. After a few minutes they handed him to me just long enough for me to see that he was ok, and then he was gone. I couldn't wait to get done with the recovery so I could get up to the NICU and see him. He was 5lbs 6oz and 19 3/4 inches long. Big boy for a 32 weeker!!

I was finally able to go up and see him a few hours later and couldn't believe that was my baby laying there. He was hooked up to all kinds of things and had tubes and wires everywhere, but he was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. He had on a little green hat and opened up his eyes to look at me just for a minute. Our baby. What an amazing gift. I just knew from the minute I saw him that he would be ok. I could feel God in the room with us. I know Reid has talked to Jesus. I know he's been there holding him when I couldn't.

We did get to hold him that first day and then they had to put a thing (I can never remember the name of) in his belly button so they said we wouldn't be able to hold him for several days. That was hard. But the nurses are so great there. They snuck me a snuggle every now and then. He was jaundice so he was under phototherapy lights for several days. He had several apnea spells so they started him on caffeine once a day to help stimulate him a little. His "starbucks" helped. He has been off it for 3 days and has not had any spells. His jaundice is better so no more lights. IV is out, oxygen is out. The only thing left is his feeding tube which is in his little nose.

They told us today that as soon as he's taking his bottle at every feeding and takes the full feeding, he'll be ready to come home! Praise the Lord!!!

So, today on Reid's two week birthday I am humbled by and in awe of the Lord and realize how powerful, good, faithful and PRESENT he is. My faith has been so strengthened by this whole experience. We have never felt more blessed and are so excited to be a family of three. We can't wait to get Reid home where he belongs, but are SO thankful for Centennial and the wonderful care he is receiving there.

We are also thankful for our friends and family who have rallied together to support us in this time of need. We have had prayers, meals, texts, calls, prayers, visits, prayers and most of all...prayers. God has heard every single word spoken on Reid's behalf and we are so thankful for everyone's love and support!

Who knows what tomorrow will hold, but we have faith that God is in control.

32 Weeks and Blessed

Today I am 32 weeks along and feeling it!! I am trying SO hard not to complain about the little aches and pains and the swelling, but this lovely TN, triple digit heat index weather is wearing me out. My "shrek feet", as we affectionately call them, make a daily appearance and I am doing my best to stay off them and out of the heat!!! But we are so abundantly blessed and that is why I feel guilty complaining about anything! God is good. His protection is over me and Reid.

This past weekend was a blessed one. I had a baby shower in Murfreesboro with some of my closest friends and my mom's closest friends. It was so much fun!! We got a TON of baby stuff and I am, again, overwhelmed at people's generosity and willingness to be a blessing to me and Jesse and now...sweet baby Reid. THEN, we got to celebrate Jesse's first Father's Day!! I know Reid isn't here yet, but Jesse is already a daddy, constantly talking to him and doing things to get ready for him and even singing to him...but don't tell him I told you so :). Just to give one example of how precious he is...we had a whirlwind week in Missouri and when we got home there was not time to get the house cleaned up before the shower. I really don't like bringing in MORE stuff to put away on top of a unkempt house! But, what could I do? So, I went to my shower, loaded up the car, got home and my baby daddy had cleaned the WHOLE house...even vacuumed!!! How did I get so lucky? What a man, what a mighty good man...hehehe!!!

OH - Our photographer, Kacey Randolph, who did our maternity pictures now has her website up and running! Please visit www.kaceyrandolph.com for more information!!

There is MUCH to do in the next 7 weeks to be fully ready for Reid's debut! Just as soon as I get done taking a nap I'm gonna get right on that!!



Here's a snapshot of some of Reid's presents at the shower and his GIANT giraffe from his Nana and Grandaddy!!!

Home is Where the Heart Is...

We are home from Missouri and had a wonderful trip despite the sad circumstances that prompted our visit. Adam's funeral services were so perfect and I don't think Adam himself would have changed a thing. We received real closure and are so thankful for how God takes a sad situation and blesses the lives of everyone involved. I truly believe that there were hearts changed for the Lord that day.

Ady is three years old and HILARIOUS! Jesse was so excited that he could sit and have a real conversation with her. She says the funniest things and it made Jes even more excited for Reid to be 2/3 years old! Ha! I keep trying to tell him that all the stages before that will be fun too. She repeats EVERYTHING he says. He's going to be a great daddy. That I know for sure.

I am so blessed to have married into such a great family. We always have so much fun when we visit and I NEVER feel like I "married into" the family. They always make me feel like I have been a Hanks my whole life. They are so excited to meet Reid Bennett. When we were saying goodbye, I realized the next time they see us, we'll be parents...which in turn kinda freaked me out. D-day is just around the corner. Whew!!! Can't believe it.

Precious Memories

We received the sad news this morning that our wonderful Adam Vermillion was killed in a car accident last night. Adam and Jesse had been friends since Jesse's sophomore year of high school and he was such a wonderful friend throughout the years. He became part of the Hanks family "unofficially" when Lindsay, Jesse's sister, had Ady, our niece. (However, if you ask Jesse, Nelle or anyone else, they will tell you he's always been an honorary member of the family.) He doted on his daughter and spent time with her and was an active, attentive father. When Lindsay called this morning to tell us, we were so shocked,completely devasted and frustrated to be so far away while the people we love are hurting so much. I can't imagine how Adam's family is feeling right now, but I pray they are able to lean on the Lord as their strength.

This has been a day of memories and reflection for me and Jesse. We've spent a lot of time talking about Adam and Jesse has been telling me stories all day. Everything from the first day they met to talking about spending time with him before our wedding. I am so thankful for the friendship that existed between Jesse and Adam and the wonderful memories that Jesse is able to share with me. My heart is broken for Ady, but I know she will always know how much her daddy loved her and how he doted on her. And we will all have stories that she will grow up hearing and know the truly wonderful person he was.

My mom has always said, "We wouldn't feel so much hurt when we lose people if we didn't love them so much while we had them. It's worth the hurt to have the wonderful memories and love in our hearts." I believe that God has a plan for all our lives and has set us out for specific purposes. We may never know what God's purpose was for Adam, but if it was to bring that sweet baby girl to our lives and make her into such a wonderful little girl or to be a great son, friend and shoulder to so many who loved him...mission accomplished and well done. In an odd way, I am thankful that there is pain because that means that there was such sweetness in the time we had with him.

God bless you, Adam. Thank you for welcoming me and being accepting of me and making me feel like a sister from the moment I first met you. You blessed us all.