Settling In...

Well, we've been home for going on 2 weeks now and everything seems to be going smoothly. At least I think it is. We've established a good routine. Reid was waking up every three hours like clockwork and I mean literally if your life depended on you doing something at 4:00, you could just count on Reid instead of setting an alarm.. This week he's been sleeping longer and longer and now he's pushing every four hours. It really just depends. Either way, it works.

It's amazing how much the things that make my days enjoyable have changed. Now days, if I get a good poop and burp out of Reid...day is considered a success! Ha! I never imagined anything could be so hard, exhausting and scary and be so wonderful, worthwhile and rewarding all at the same time. Life is the same and yet completely different. I still feel like me and Jesse and I are still "us" but there's this new fierce feeling that comes over me when I look at Reid. It's this intense mixture of all-consuming love and the need to shelter, protect, nurture and be "everything." The hard part is when I realize I can't be everything and I look and there's laundry to be folded and dishes in the sink. I choose snuggling with my baby every time, but I admit I sometimes feel like I should be able to swing it all.

Having said that, life is grand. Reid is changing so much. Every time the sun comes up I feel like he is a new baby! I am so proud of him. We went to see our pediatrician for the first time on Thursday and he said Reid was doing awesome! He weighed 7lbs 15.5oz!! Almost 8lbs? My baby? Oh my goodness. J had to work so my mom went with us and we went to eat at Red Robin after. Reid's first lunch out. He slept the whole time. :) That's my boy. He's really starting to focus on things and will stare at the mobile in his crib and follow the little animals. He will really stare you down now and is lifting his little head and loves to wiggle around on the floor. Dylan is obsessed with him and we can't have playtime without him there by Reid's side to supervise. So cute! They will be best buddies before we know it! I put Reid in his swing today while I got dinner ready and he loved it. I wasn't sure because he hasn't been to fond of the little vibrating chair things, but the swing was great. He slept for a long time in it! New visitors this week: Vicki Kennedy, Megan Caldwell, Lona Dunn, Kerri Kairdolf!

Here are a few of my "can't live withouts" so far:

1. Boppy. Genius. Wish I'd invented it myself.
2. Dr. Brown's bottles.
3. Our grass drying rack. It has been a life saver.
4. Carter's onesies. Easiest to snap up.
5. Pampers. No leaks!
6. Little Lamb swing...new fave as of today.
7. Butt Paste. Magical

I love being a mommy and sharing this amazing journey with Jes! He's a great daddy and loves his boy. And I love him more than ever!!

God is good. All the time.

Reid and MiMi at Red Robin.


Playtime with Daddy.


Dylan loves to watch Reid.


With mommy at the doctor!


Snuggling...our favorite!!

Home Sweet Home!

We were finally able to bring Reid home on Tuesday, July 20, 2010! Monday night we "roomed in" the hospital with him in a special suite in the NICU. The night went well! It was scary and exciting to have him with us with no wires, no monitors, no beeping. But it just felt right. All three of us there together. As a family. Like it should be. The next morning the nurse and neonatologist came to get him to do his final assessment before they discharged him. FINALLY at 10:30 we got the word that we could take our sweet boy home! Leaving the NICU was very emotional. The nurses there seem like part of our family now. They were amazing to Reid and to us. They were so patient with us as new parents, always taking time to stop and answer our questions and teach us something new. Blessings on all of the wonderful nurses in the NICU at Centennial Women's Hospital.

My mom and dad came up to the hospital to follow us home. We were a little nervous about the drive...ok I was a little nervous. When we got home, we were greeted with a huge "Welcome Home Reid" sign outside our house. We got in and got started being full time parents. Whew! Its challenging that's for sure. There's a new kind of exhaustion I don't thing either of us were aware of. Reid isn't a huge fan of nights...let me put it that way. He sleeps like a baby (obviously) after his bottles during the day, but at night not so much. Gotta figure out how to get him to sleep at night like he does during the day. But he's wonderful. It's not so bad being up ALL night with someone so perfect. He's already had his first sponge bath at home and met his great-grammy and grandad! That was a very special moment for me. Aunt Katie also came over to visit. It was so fun finally getting to share my baby with some of the most special people in my life!!

So, being home is great. Challenging, but it feels right to have us all under one roof. Thank goodness for my mom who has been here every day and has taken over some feedings so mommy could get some rest to get through the longgggg nights. Cuddle time at 3am is the best :).

Reid is Three Weeks Old Today!

I can't believe that our little monkey has been a part of this world for three weeks. It's amazing and as I look back at pictures of the day he was born and I realize how FAR we've come in three weeks, I am humbled by the truth and the truth is that God was there, he is here NOW and he WILL be here always with our little family.

This week has been full of changes. The nurses kept telling me that the whole eating thing would just "click" with Reid when he was ready. He would take 10ml of his bottle and pass out and I would sit and think we would be there forever. The next day, the kid DOWNED his bottle like nobody's business and has been ever since. It really did just "click!" So then they decided he was doing well enough to do a bottle at every feeding and NOW he nurses for about 20 minutes and then takes his bottle and it's like he's been doing it all his life :). His little cheeks are getting chubby and he's gaining weight like crazy! His umbilical cord fell off so he got to take a tub bath and that was so much fun!

The biggest change this week is that the doctor told me today that we are on the countdown to HOME!!! If Reid can be apnea free for five days in a row he can go home. So today was day one. If he continues doing well we will be able to "room in" with him at the hospital on Monday night and take him home on Tuesday!!! I couldn't help but cry when she told me. It's what we've been praying to hear.

"Rooming In" means that we spend the night in the hospital with Reid and get a trial night. How brilliant! We are so thankful that they aren't just sending us home with a "good luck!" This way we can spend the first night we have him on our own with our nurses just down the hall checking in and helping us get used to not having our boy hooked up to monitors. Its going to be scary, but wonderful! I am actually pretty anxious about bringing him home. So excited, don't get me wrong, but a little terrified!! Thank God for wonderful nurses who are so compassionate and gave us their home phone number to call whenever we have a question or worry! I hope God showers blessings on our nurses. They are true angels.

Anyway, things are great. Better than great. Things are miraculous any way you look at it. We are blessed. We are SO blessed.

Update!!

Well, Reid is doing great and tomorrow he will be 3 weeks old! Every morning when I get to the hospital I am so excited to see him and the difference I KNOW will be there from just the night before. He is growing and developing by leaps and bounds and its wonderful to see such BOLD evidence of God's grace and mercies and goodness day by day, hour by hour.

As of today he is going to be getting a bottle at every feeding! These are the orders we've been waiting for! If he can take these bottles at every feeding and remain apnea free for five days he'll be able to come home! He has had a couple apnea spells this week. Just two, but every time he has one they have to start all over with his five days. Soooo...if he goes 4 days and 23 hours and has a spell, we have to start all over. So, if you are reading this, please pray for our little guy! He is already a part of our home, but we are ready to make it official. Obviously, only if he's ready and we believe God will prepare him and us when the time is right!

His umbilical cord finally fell off so he got to have his first tub bath today! I wouldn't say he loved it, but he liked it MUCH better than just being sponged off. He got to have his feeding tube out for the bath so I got to see my baby today for the first time completely wire free. It was amazing. He's so beautiful!

Thank you all for being encouraging and loving on us and Reid. We will be so overjoyed for all our loved ones to get to meet him! The best is yet to come!!!

Whew!!!!

I have been itching to get to the computer and blog about Reid's birth because I am so afraid I'm going to forget something that happened. It's already been 2 weeks since our sweet boy came into the world (2 months early) and it seems like just yesterday...

As you know we travelled to Missouri unexpectedly for the funeral of a dear loved one. The night before we were leaving to come home I started not feeling well. I was having pains that felt like a bladder infection, but without all the other symptoms. I waited it out and felt better the next day. I was GOING to go to the doctor, but it was already Thursday and I had my regularly scheduled doc appointment on Tuesday so I thought I'd just wait it out. I figured that the heat mixed with travelling and the emotion of losing a dear friend had probably just taken it's toll on me. Well, we got home and I wasn't feeling 100% but I had my baby shower on Saturday, Father's Day was on Sunday and by Monday I was POOPED! Monday I felt ok, but was really looking forward to seeing the doc on Tuesday and hearing the heartbeat and getting reassured. On Tuesday when I told the doc I had been cramping, etc. he checked me and decided to send me over for an ultrasound just to be on the safe side. Ultrasound showed no ruptures...everything looked great...Reid was weighing 5 pounds 6 ounces...HOLY SMOKES...and the doctor said to go home, take it easy and everything would be fine. So I went home and felt better having been reassured there would be no baby yet. HOWEVER...I could not sleep AT ALL that night. No comfort was found in any position I layed it. We even moved downstairs to the couches and I ended up leaving Jes in the middle of the night and finally falling asleep around 3am.

Wednesday morning, I got up to go potty for the millionth time and when I got back in bed I was laying there and a small gush of fluid came out. I thought, "oh my gosh I totally just peed on myself." But then I realized that that was not what it was. I still didn't actually think my water had broken, but I went in to the bathroom where Jes was in the shower and jokingly said "Hey babe, either I just peed on myself or my water just broke." We kinda laughed and I went and got back into bed and he left for work. That's when the pain began. I called Kerri, God bless her, and she said to call the doctor asap. I did and he said to come in. My mom, who was already on her way over to my house, got there just in time. I remember starting to walk down the stairs and having to sit down on the top step because it hurt. I knew right then that this was not good. We got to the doctor and got right in. Doctor Riley checked me again and then left the room. When he came back he said, "OK - your water is broken and we are going ahead and sending you to Centennial. I've already called them, they know you are coming. Doctor DeRoche will be seeing you there." I almost don't remember that part. It's all fuzzy. Everything happened so fast. So, me and my mom GPS Centennial (we have no idea where it is) and haul bootie to the hospital. I called Jesse and Kerri and my mom called everyone else. When we got to the hospital, Jes was practically in the road waving us down, wheel chair waiting. Thank goodness for the wheel chair because at that point I was in (what I thought at the time was) real pain. Ha! So, after almost running me into a window :) Jesse wheeled me up, they checked me in and before I knew it I was in a gown, in a bed, getting an IV in my hand and getting hooked up to lots of monitors.

Turns out I did have a bladder infection, which was what caused my water to break and I was also very dehydrated. Because I was ruptured they did not want to check me to see if I was dilated at all because that risks more infection and infection for the baby. SO - they proceeded to tell me that I was not in "real" labor but that I was probably having bladder contractions that felt like contractions and they were going to stop them and I would just have to stay in the hospital for the next 4 weeks or so. WHAT?!?!?!?! The pains I was having were all below the belly button and not up top where they say "real" labor pains are. Guess I taught them a thing or two. My platelets were also very low which was a concern so they were taking my blood every other minute (or so it seemed to me). They also told me I would not receive any pain medication because once the antibiotic for the infection kicked in, the bladder spasms would stop and I'd feel better. So, after a while I did feel better. I was able to talk myself into thinking it would be cool to live in a hospital! My mom was in management mode getting everything in order and Jesse was off to pack some things for me.

Well, about 9:30 it started. I started having the cramping again and it was back with a vengeance. But they still never checked me and never gave me anything for the pain. My mom went home and my dad came to stay with us for the night. I got a benadryl to help me sleep at about 10. It didn't work. I was up every 20 minutes or so and by about 3am I was up crying. I remember thinking that I might be dying because there's no way something could hurt this bad and not be labor. I told Jesse if this was not labor I could NOT do it when it was the real thing. Order me a C-section. NOW. So, then the pain got so bad that I started throwing up. My nurse, who was wonderful and precious, said she thought I might be having a gall bladder attack and called the doctor. This was at about 4am. He ordered me to get a shot that they said would ease the pain in about 15 minutes. After the shot I threw up about 3 more times and the pain got WORSE. So....finally....the nurse comes in and tells me they are coming to take my blood again and then the charge nurse was going to check me. Just to be sure. I think I might have yelled at the nurse who took my blood...sorry whoever you are. Then...the moment I will never forget. Head nurse layed me back, checked me out and said, "Oh yeah, she's at a 7 or 8. She's ready. Let's get her ready to deliver." Um...what??? I think I said, all at once, "Nooooooooo, nooooo! Can I have an epidural, call my mom. Noooooooooo!" All in between screams that were not quite human.

They wheeled me up to the next floor and when I got in there they said there was no time for an epidural and to start pushing whenever I felt like it. I pushed for about 10 minutes without an epidural and then the doctor came it. Thank goodness he said I had a while and they would try an epidural. Thank you, Jesus! It was kinda scary having that intense, come off the bed pain while having to hold totally still as a needle goes into my spine. However, it did NOT hurt AT ALL! In fact, it was the best part of my day. I felt better instantly. I said some pretty funny things to the doctors apparently. Something about him having pretty blue eyes...haha! My mom got there just in time to MISS all the horrible stuff which I think would have sent her over the edge seeing me like that. I introduced her to my best friend the epidural man with the blue eyes and then started pushing. By the end of the event, Jes was on one side with one leg, my dad (bless him) was on the other side with the other leg and everyone was cheering me on. Once I saw his head in the mirror (sorry for the gory details) I had him out in 2 pushes. Talk about serious motivation.

There are no words to describe the feeling of seeing him for the first time. He came out crying like a champ and the doctor said his color looked so good. There were a million people in the room. A team for me and a team for him. They began working on him immediately so he was taken over to the side before I could hold him or anything. After a few minutes they handed him to me just long enough for me to see that he was ok, and then he was gone. I couldn't wait to get done with the recovery so I could get up to the NICU and see him. He was 5lbs 6oz and 19 3/4 inches long. Big boy for a 32 weeker!!

I was finally able to go up and see him a few hours later and couldn't believe that was my baby laying there. He was hooked up to all kinds of things and had tubes and wires everywhere, but he was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. He had on a little green hat and opened up his eyes to look at me just for a minute. Our baby. What an amazing gift. I just knew from the minute I saw him that he would be ok. I could feel God in the room with us. I know Reid has talked to Jesus. I know he's been there holding him when I couldn't.

We did get to hold him that first day and then they had to put a thing (I can never remember the name of) in his belly button so they said we wouldn't be able to hold him for several days. That was hard. But the nurses are so great there. They snuck me a snuggle every now and then. He was jaundice so he was under phototherapy lights for several days. He had several apnea spells so they started him on caffeine once a day to help stimulate him a little. His "starbucks" helped. He has been off it for 3 days and has not had any spells. His jaundice is better so no more lights. IV is out, oxygen is out. The only thing left is his feeding tube which is in his little nose.

They told us today that as soon as he's taking his bottle at every feeding and takes the full feeding, he'll be ready to come home! Praise the Lord!!!

So, today on Reid's two week birthday I am humbled by and in awe of the Lord and realize how powerful, good, faithful and PRESENT he is. My faith has been so strengthened by this whole experience. We have never felt more blessed and are so excited to be a family of three. We can't wait to get Reid home where he belongs, but are SO thankful for Centennial and the wonderful care he is receiving there.

We are also thankful for our friends and family who have rallied together to support us in this time of need. We have had prayers, meals, texts, calls, prayers, visits, prayers and most of all...prayers. God has heard every single word spoken on Reid's behalf and we are so thankful for everyone's love and support!

Who knows what tomorrow will hold, but we have faith that God is in control.